My mother ....

My mother, my mother is a real pain in the ass to put it nicely. I know, I know all people complain about their mothers but my mother is in a class by herself. Let me start it off with of her five children she has been the major cause for four of them to either seek or be sent to therapy. On the other hand, the only one who hasn't gone to therapy is the one who went to public high school.
Everyone has flaws but my mother has two that really set me and most of my siblings off. The first is that once she gets an idea in her head she will not, even in the face of logic, give it up. An example, when I was 10 years old one of my brothers told my mother that he questioned my swimming ability. Mind you I was 10 years old. For 6 years in my teen years I was a summer camp counselor. At the age of 32 I got certified as an open water SCUBA diver. Upon hearing the news what does my mother say "But you can't swim."
Another example is that my mother hates my wife. I have been married over twelve years to this woman and no matter what my wife does my mother will fabricate stories on partial knowledge, jump to conclusions and do everything in her power to see whatever my wife does in a bad light. No matter what my wife does or what proof you present my mother she will not be persuaded that she is wrong. Imagine in your own life if everything your spouse did was twisted into something sinister. It's gotten to the point that my wife has said "If your mother wants you back, she can have you."
This leads to the second thing that really sets me off about my mother and I know it has been the cause of problems with my siblings. My mother will find the buttons she knows will set you off and she will intentionally push them. You can see the wheels turning in her head to come up what will really set her child off. Every one of us kids has different buttons and my mother adjusts her approach for each child. To this end I try to show no reaction around my mother because I have watched her give up on one tactic only to try another approach until she finds the button to set you off. I don't know what it is in her past or if she even does it intentionally but my mother lives off the negative reaction she can get from her children.
The impact my mother has on her children was first revealed to her in the late '50s when my second oldest brother had taken to stuttering and was in need of psychological help. The doctor told her and my father that she was the major cause of her child's problems. What was the result? My father decreed we were never to talk of it again because it upset my mother so.
So, as much as I would like to love my mother I just can't because I know the impact of her methods has been pointed out to her but she will not change her ways even if it hurts her own children.